In a move that’s left fans both amused and exasperated, ATLUS has revealed a new initiative: to avoid making Persona 6 for as long as possible. Dubbed the “Infinite Tease Initiative,” this bold strategy involves endless re-releases, increasingly bizarre spin-offs, and, surprisingly, Persona-themed appliances.

Why Make Something New?

During a press conference, an ATLUS spokesperson confidently explained, “Why make Persona 6 when we can repackage Persona 5 another 37 times?” Clutching a “P5 Forever” mug, they detailed plans to capitalize on fans’ willingness to buy the same game repeatedly—as long as it has a slightly different title.

Upcoming Releases: More P5 Than Ever

The presentation showcased a few new projects, including:

• Persona 5 Royal Reloaded Turbo EX+ Alpha: An enhanced version with two extra Joker blinks and a 45-minute cutscene about Yusuke’s quest for the perfect miso soup.
• Persona Kart: A racing game where characters speed through iconic locations while throwing “All-Out Attack Bananas.”
• Persona Q: Q Ultimate Dance Battle: A rhythm game featuring every character to date, even the soda vendor NPC.
• Persona 4 Golden: The Anime: The Musical: The Game: A full remake of Persona 4 Golden—but sung by holograms of Velvet Room attendants.

What About Persona 6?

When asked, the spokesperson shrugged. “Oh, it’s in development. Or not. Who knows?” Instead, they unveiled a new line of Persona household gadgets, like the Akechi Pancake Maker and Morgana Nightlight.

Fan Reactions: Mixed But Loyal

Some fans cheered the endless spin-offs, while others voiced their frustration online. One user tweeted, “I’ll buy Persona 5 Royal AGAIN, but please, just give us Persona 6!”

As the event wrapped up, ATLUS teased an even bigger announcement for next year’s Tokyo Game Show. Rumors hint at Persona 5 Monopoly—a board game where players buy the rights to even more spin-offs. For now, it’s clear the Persona 5 hype train isn’t stopping anytime soon. Buckle up, Phantom Thieves!