In a surprise press statement earlier this week, Nintendo expressed confusion over public backlash surrounding the $79.99 price tag of its latest iteration of Mario Kart for the Switch 2. According to the company, the outrage is “baffling” and “kind of a downer, honestly.”

“People keep saying our pricing is out of touch,” said a company spokesperson, holding a limited-edition gold Joy-Con in one hand and a gold leaf latte in the other. “But we just assumed everyone had a job.”

“We Thought You Guys Liked Nostalgia?”

The deluxe edition comes with the base game, a pajama outfit for Yoshi, and a digital download code for an exclusive menu theme that plays three seconds of the Super Mario World overworld music. When asked how that justified nearly one hundred bucks, the company responded, “But it’s nostalgic. Isn’t that, like, priceless?”

Nintendo also reminded fans that “you don’t have to buy it,” a statement usually followed by releasing only the deluxe version for the first 12 months before discontinuing it mysteriously.

Internally Confused, Externally Profitable

Leaked internal memos reveal a company boardroom filled with genuine confusion. “They don’t want to pay $80 for a game that looks like it was made in 2011?” one exec reportedly asked. “We gave them a playable Yoshi wearing pajamas. Pajamas, people.”

Another document shows a hastily scrawled diagram explaining the concept of rent, with a post-it note reading: “Investigate further, are these people just bad with money?”

Meanwhile, Fans are Just Tired

Longtime Nintendo fans, now in their 30s and tired of explaining joy-con drift to tech support, are mostly just sighing deeply. “Look, I’ll probably still buy it,” said one player, VenomStrike_86, “but I’m not gonna like it. Well, maybe a little. Depends if they bring back Waluigi.”

Nintendo has yet to respond to continued criticism, but sources say they’re considering a $99.99 “We Hear You Edition,” which includes everything from the Deluxe Edition plus a letter thanking you for your feedback—printed on 3D cardboard.

Are you purchasing Mario Kart World or waiting a few years for the two dollar discount?