In a move that’s sending shockwaves through the gaming world, Howard Scott Warshaw, the creator of the infamous E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial Atari game, has officially announced a sequel. Yes, you read that right: the man who nearly single-handedly tanked the video game industry in 1982 is back, and this time, he’s promising that it totally won’t ruin the entire industry again.

Warshaw, who has spent the last few decades in relative obscurity after the E.T. debacle, took to social media today to reveal that he’s been hard at work on E.T. 2: Return From the Pit, and assures fans (and skeptics) that this will be nothing like the original.

A Sequel That Won’t Break the Industry… Definitely

In his announcement, Warshaw was quick to address the elephant in the room: the disaster that was E.T. on Atari. The 1982 game, widely considered one of the worst games ever made, was blamed for contributing to the video game crash of 1983, which nearly wiped out the entire gaming industry.

“I know what you’re all thinking,” Warshaw began in his online post. “You’re wondering if E.T. 2 is going to be another disaster, and I’m here to tell you: absolutely not! This time, I’ve learned from my mistakes. I’m not going to ruin the industry again. Trust me. This is going to be a game-changer—in all the right ways. What could possibly go wrong?”

“I’m working with some top-tier programmers now,” Warshaw said. “We’re using the latest hardware, the newest software, and most importantly, we’re not doing this in two weeks. This time, we’ve got a plan.”

The Story: More Aliens, Less… Confusion

As for the story of E.T. 2: Return From the Pit, Warshaw promises that it will be a more coherent and engaging experience than the original. The plot will pick up where the 1982 game left off, with E.T. returning to Earth to rescue his home planet from a new, even more dangerous alien threat: the Reptilians.

“The first game was about E.T. getting lost and trying to phone home, but let’s be real—it was confusing, and there were holes in the plot. This time, we’ve got real depth,” Warshaw explained. “It’s all about E.T. confronting his enemies, building alliances, and battling the Reptilian invasion. It’s like Star Wars meets Jurassic Park, with a little bit of heart. And no, there won’t be any digging holes for no reason.”

Fans of the original game will also be thrilled to know that E.T. will have new abilities, including telekinesis and the power to summon a squad of alien allies. Warshaw insists that these features won’t overcomplicate the gameplay or make it “too much fun” for players.

The Graphics: No More Blocky Confusion

As for the visuals, Warshaw assures fans that this time, the graphics will be up to modern standards and won’t look like they were designed by a toddler on a calculator.

“We’ve hired some incredible artists who are going to make this game look absolutely amazing,” Warshaw promised. “Forget about the weird pixelated mess that was the first E.T.. This sequel is going to be an artistic masterpiece. You’ll see detailed alien landscapes, realistic animations, and enough special effects to make your eyes bleed. And no, we’re not using 8-bit graphics. We’re using real graphics.”

In fact, Warshaw is so confident about the game’s visual appeal that he’s already making bold claims about the game’s potential to “revolutionize” the gaming industry.

“This is the game that will set the standard for all future alien-themed games,” he declared. “I’m talking genre-defining, ground-breaking stuff. Gamers will look back at E.T. 2: Return From the Pit the way they look back at the release of Super Mario Bros. or Halo—a defining moment in gaming history.”

A Smooth Launch? Probably Not, But Maybe?

While Warshaw has promised a smooth and polished launch, he was quick to admit that he can’t predict everything. “Look, I’m not going to say it’s going to be perfect,” he said. “But it’s going to be so much better than the first one. There will be bugs, sure. But hey, there will be patches, and we’ll fix it as we go. Just like we did last time… except, you know, we won’t bury the cartridges in the desert this time.”

As for the potential impact on the gaming industry, Warshaw seems unphased. “Will this game cause another crash? Absolutely not. I’ve learned my lesson. This time, we’re going to do it right. We’re going to make the industry better—by bringing back the thing that started it all. A poorly executed, slightly terrifying, and completely out-of-place alien-themed game. You’re welcome, gamers.”

As for E.T. 2: Return From the Pit, only time will tell if Warshaw’s second attempt at game development will be another historic disaster or a triumphant comeback. But one thing’s for sure: if E.T. 2 is anything like the first game, the world will certainly be talking about it… for better or worse.

Stay tuned for more updates on this alien journey. Hopefully, this time, the game will be ready for launch… and not buried in a desert.