You Can’t See Your Account (Or Your Money)

In a shocking turn of events, wrestling legend John Cena has allegedly hacked the WWE 2K25 servers, wiping thousands of player accounts and making off with millions in virtual currency. Fans logged in Tuesday morning only to find their carefully built rosters erased and their in-game wallets emptied, all while a cryptic message flashed across the loading screen: “You Can’t See Me.”

The Digital Smackdown

According to early reports, players attempting to access their accounts were met with a bizarre sequence of events. Some were locked out entirely, while others discovered that their created wrestlers had been replaced with nothing but floating jorts and a single sweatband hovering ominously in the ring. One user reported that his entire save file was renamed to “Hustle_Loot_Respect” before it was permanently deleted.

“I just spent $200 on microtransactions to unlock all the legendary wrestlers,” one distraught player posted on Reddit. “Now it’s all gone, and my MyFaction team is just a JPEG of Cena grinning at me.”

The Investigation Begins

2K Games issued an emergency statement, assuring players that they were working to restore access and investigate the breach. However, suspicions only grew when developers discovered that the in-game economy had been completely drained, with all funds redirected to an unknown offshore account labeled “Thuganomics Holdings Inc.”

“We don’t know how he did it,” said one anonymous 2K employee. “But somehow, John Cena managed to delete every user account while still maintaining an overall rating of 97.”

The Aftermath

As of now, the WWE 2K25 servers remain unstable, with some players reporting that their accounts have been partially restored—though all returning users are mysteriously forced to use a custom character named “Invisible Man” in online matches. 2K has promised compensation for those affected, though sources claim that the refund will come in the form of a limited-time John Cena Apology Pack, which includes a non-refundable digital t-shirt and an in-game emote of Cena shrugging.

While authorities work to track down the stolen funds, one thing is clear: John Cena has pulled off one of the most unexpected heel turns in WWE history. If found guilty, sources say he faces a lifetime ban from WWE programming and an even worse punishment—being permanently rated 74 overall in all future games.

Meanwhile, Triple H attempted to reassure fans via Twitter, writing: “We’re looking into it. In the meantime, enjoy WWE 2K25’s most realistic feature yet—complete and utter chaos.”

For now, WWE 2K25 players can only wait, hope for justice, and remember that in the world of gaming, no one is safe—not even from John Cena.