A Brick-Buying Frenzy Unleashed

In what can only be described as the most unexpected side effect of a video game adaptation since the mass purchase of blue overalls after the Mario movie, the newly released Minecraft movie has sparked a global crisis: a severe shortage of building materials. Construction sites worldwide have ground to a halt as Minecraft fans hoard bricks, stones, and pretty much anything vaguely block-shaped.

Local Hardware Stores in Disarray

According to local hardware store owner Gary Mortarson, the trouble began just hours after the film’s premiere. “People were in here at dawn, just clearing out the entire brick section. One guy bought out all the cinder blocks, saying he needed them to build a life-size replica of his Minecraft base,” Mortarson recalled, visibly exhausted. “I tried to explain that cobblestone doesn’t even look like that, but he just kept muttering something about ‘block consistency.’”

Social Media’s Take on Block Hoarding

Social media is flooded with fans proudly displaying their IRL block collections. One enthusiast posted a photo of his living room, now entirely encased in bricks. The caption read, “Finally safe from creepers. #IRLMinecraft.” His landlord was less enthusiastic.

Another fan posted a picture from the hospital after succumbing to smoke inhalation. The caption red, “Building an oven from cobblestone in the middle of your house isn’t wise. Be careful with the inspirations you take from the movie.”

Fandom’s Unintended Consequences

In response, some Minecraft content creators are urging fans to consider digital hoarding instead, pointing out that, unlike real bricks, virtual ones don’t result in structural collapse.

The government has issued an official statement urging citizens to “calm down” and reminding everyone that dirt blocks are not an adequate substitute for sidewalks. Meanwhile, conspiracy theories are swirling that Mojang orchestrated the whole thing to boost sales of Minecraft plush blocks.

While the world scrambles for solutions, one thing is clear: never underestimate the power of fandom to inadvertently topple civilization. As for the movie? Critics are calling it “blockbuster,” though perhaps not in the way they intended.